When I posted yesterday I wasn't really thinking about the fact that my mom reads my blog. It didn't occur to me until she came out of the office with suspiciously wet eyes and told me to get dressed. I wasn't given a choice, I was going out.
We went and saw 27 Dresses. It was really funny. It was nice to laugh again. Then we went out to dinner at IHOP. Talk about comfort food! After that a trip to WalMart and then we headed home. (It was about midnight at this point, home was the only place left to go.) I hadn't realized until last night how long it had been since I'd played. I really enjoyed myself.
My mom explained to Donny that she was concerned about depression and so she wanted to take me out. We thought that it was best not to tell him how bad things were because he doesn't handle that kind of stuff well. But this morning things hit the point that I had to tell him what's going on. It was a nice surprise when he responded in a loving and supportive manner. I know that he loves me, but in the past he's dealt with this type of situation very poorly. I really didn't expect much out of him. It's been a good surprise.
It's nice to know that I can admit to being human and people won't think I'm awful. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect and I wind up thinking that's what everyone expects of me also. I'm not perfect and I don't think I ever will be. I fail people sometimes. I forget things, even important things. I struggle to balance my time between work, the people that I love and taking care of myself. I'm a work in progress, but I think that I'm improving. I hope to be like a fine wine and just improve with age.
For now I'm just human, and prone to human mistakes. Maybe someday I'll achieve perfection, maybe not. One thing that I know for sure is that along the way I'll need reminded that it's okay to be imperfect. Thank you for helping me remember that.