Life

That old saying about when it rains it pours seems to be accurate. There is so much crap going on right now that I don't even know where to start.

My mom got a call on Friday or Saturday that her mom was really ill and in ICU. She was on 100% oxygen and still having a hard time with her breathing. Her heart wasn't doing well. She was in a coma. There was some confusion about whether or not the coma was drug induced. Getting a reliable report was difficult. The one thing that came through loud and clear was that grandma was not expected to survive.

On Tuesday my mom got a call that my aunt had decided to move grandma to hospice so that they could just administer comfort care. During that phone call she also said that the high school that 4 of her grandkids attend had a violent stabbing occur on campus that day. From what I've gathered it seems that a guy walked up to a girl in the hallway, grabbed her from behind, and slit her throat. One of my cousins walked into the hallway right afterward. He didn't see the actual crime, but he saw all the gore. That includes the girl laying on the floor screaming, saying that she was dying and begging for help. Because of this incident school was cancelled and my aunt had all 4 traumatized teens with her as she was dealing with taking her own mother off of life support.

Today my mom got the call that her mother has passed away. Even though we were expecting it this has hit my mom like a ton of bricks. She desperately wants to go for the funeral. Travel plans are in the works, but it's not as easy as jump in the car and go. A few weeks ago mom fell and hurt her back. Wednesday was the first time in a few weeks that mom even attempted driving. To make a trip of a couple thousand miles would require that she take some heavy duty pain killers. If mom takes the pain killers then she can't drive. If dad takes her out for the funeral it could possibly mess up my parents trip that they have planned for December. They're supposed to go see my sister and her kids, who none of us have seen in 4 and a half years. I'm supposed to start back to work tomorrow, so hopping in a car and going isn't as easy as it would seem.

And as all of this is happening I'm watching Donny get worse and worse and there's nothing that I can do about it. It's getting harder for him to breathe. He's sick to his stomach all the time. Hardly anything will stay down. He's had to start wearing diapers because of the incontinence issues. His legs are going out on him, he has a hard time standing or walking. I worry constantly about him. I wish that this could be easier, or more dignified. I often wonder just how much worse this is going to get. And how long can I continue to take care of him?

Okay, enough self pity, I need to go help mom pack.