Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Stop this world, I want off.

It's amazing how life goes on, no matter what. I miss Donny more than I ever thought that I would. I ache for one more hug, one more kiss. I long to tell him, just one more time, how much I love him, and hear him say the same to me. I wish that I could come home and discuss how work went that day, or vent about my frustrations. And yet I can't bring myself to wish that he'd come back. He was suffering so much at the end there that I can't bring myself to wish for his return. As much as I miss him, I'm happy that he's well again.

I got a letter from social security saying that they had accidentally paid Donny's disability benefits this month, and would I please return the money? Since I know that he's not entitled to any benefits now I have no problem with that concept. However, since they never sent any money, I do have a problem with "returning" it. While I was at the social security office, waiting to straighten out this mess, I ran into an old boss of mine. We got to talking, and I found out that the same day that Donny died his wife went into a coma. I don't really understand what happened,, but I guess it doesn't look good. She got a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her lungs and then her heart. Her name is Suzanne, and I'd appreciate it if people would be praying for her and the family. She has 2 kids who are probably 10 or 11 and 13 or 14.

I'm back to work, and loving it. I manage to stay busy most of the time now, which is nice. I've already had 3 different people come to me to get a jump start on their taxes. I'm hoping to stay very busy for a while now. I need the distraction. It amazes me to what extent I don't know what to do with myself. I've been taking care of Donny for so long now that it seems wrong to be able to make last minute plans. And when I'm home I'm at a loss about what to do. I end up wandering through the house and getting nothing accomplished. What am I supposed to do with the time that I used to spend with Donny?

Well, it's late, and I have to work tomorrow, so I should probably head to bed. Besides, I think I'm almost exhausted enough to actually go to sleep.


mielikki said...

I am glad that work is keeping you busy. And, you can still talk to Donny. I bet he hears you.
drop me a line if there is anything I can do

Christine said...

Been thinking about you... the offer to come hang with us is always open. Love you, and take care of yourself!! <3