What I hate more than anything is when I sit down to write and can't remember what I wanted to write about. I know that I had thought of something to blog about, but for the life of me I can't remember what. So instead you get this:
Yesterday I went to the dentist. I have an abscess that I really want to do something about. The technician came in and did my ex rays and then after they were developed she left them in the room for the dentist. I was amazed to see that an abscess shows up in an ex ray. That was about all I could learn by looking at my ex ray myself.
The dentist finally comes in and as he looks at the ex rays he asks me why I'm there. (AS if not having been for a year and a half wasn't a good enough reason.) So I tell him that I have an abscess and where it's located. Without looking up he goes, "Yeah, you sure do." (That's how I know that I was right about what I was seeing.) He then goes into a lot of technical talk with his assistant.
After all of that the dentist tells me that I need a root canal. I say okay and he says that he wants me on antibiotics. I about had a cow. I just finished 2 rounds of amoxicillan. So I let him know that and he looked at me like I was some sort of junkie hooked on antibiotics and asked me who prescribed them. I told him and he wanted to know when I finished the last round. (Which makes a lot of sense to me.) He then prescribes some antibiotics and tells me to have them on hand just in case the infection flares up again. I want to know what kind of super infection I have that 2 rounds of antibiotics doesn't cure it.
Oh well, I get the root canal in a couple of weeks and maybe that'll fix it.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Vacations
My mom and I decided that we were going to go visit a friend in Oregon for a week and a half at the beginning of August. We started making plans and she started letting people know that she'd be gone. All was going well.
When my mom told her friend "Jane" about our plans, Jane wanted to ride north with us. She has family not too far from where we were going and wanted to go see them. Jane did not ask for a ride, she informed my mother that she'd be coming with us.
As we made our plans we started to have problems. Everything that my mom and I said we were going to do that didn't fit Jane's plans she'd kick up a fuss about. We said that we were planning to drive straight through to our destination with no side trips. This was unacceptable. There were museums along the way that Jane just had to go see. We said that we'd be having lunch at the diner that my sister-in-law works at, since we'd be going by it at about lunch time. This was unacceptable. Jane has a friend an hour north of our planned stop who is a waitress and we needed to eat lunch there so Jane could see her friend. We said that we wanted to do the 9 hour drive in one day. This was unacceptable. Jane wanted to take the trip slower and have one night on the road.
As things went on my mom got more and more stressed about our "fun" vacation. She went back and forth with the idea of just calling off the trip. Mom called Jane to talk about things, but couldn't get her to listen. So mom sent an email that said this is what we're doing and this is when and where we'd like to meet you. (Jane lives about an hour opposite of the direction we were going, so we asked her to meet us at our house and she could leave her car in our driveway. We live in a small town with an extremely low crime rate, so the car would've been safe. She refused.) That was the beginning of the nasty emails. Dealing with Jane was just too much, so mom called off the trip.
I knew that my mom really needed to get away, so I kept getting us ready to go. The day before we were scheduled to go I let my mom know that we were ready and there was no reason that we couldn't go without Jane. The next morning mom decided to go anyway, and sent an email out that said that there was a last minute change in plans and we were leaving after all. (Biggest deciding factor was mom's friend calling and saying that she needed to see my mom.) We loaded up the car and left.
While we were in Oregon mom would check her email regularly, and she found some rather nasty emails from Jane. And then she started getting emails from other friends wanting to know what was going on because Jane had said that mom was mad at them. Mom dealt with this as nicely as possible, but it put a real damper on our vacation.
Just about the time that we were really starting to relax and enjoy ourselves, my mom got a call. My grandma had been admitted to the hospital and was in ICU. As the calls came throughout the afternoon and we got more info we found that grandma wasn't doing well at all. The doctor's didn't expect her to live. Grandma told my cousin that what she really wanted was to see all her kids one last time.
So we throw all our stuff into the car and leave. This was made more difficult because my mom and her friend were having a sewing holiday, so there was a sewing machine and a serger to put in the car, along with fabric, half finished projects, and other various items that she had needed for her sewing. But I get it all in the car and we take off.
We had originally planned to drive home, and leave from there for Colorado, but we were told that if we took that extra day we probably wouldn't get there in time. So an hour down the road we stopped and bought an atlas. We picked our route and we were off. The mantra for that trip was, "I bet this is a really pretty drive in the daylight." (We were driving a car that overheats, so most of our driving was night driving.) Our longest stop was in Lakeview, OR. We had to wait there for four hours until a gas station opened up. The wait would have been better if there had been a vacancy in one of the local motels.
We finally arrived at the hospital, only to have a nurse not want to let us in since grandma had just gotten to sleep. Mom explained that we had just driven 33 hours to see grandma, and we would be really quiet and not wake her. We went and sat in a corner of her room to wait for her to wake. About 15 minutes later the nurse woke grandma because she had visitors. We never could figure that one out.
After being given six pints of blood grandma made an amazing recovery. Taking her off the blood thinners stopped the internal bleeding and grandma got to go home. We were so thankful and relieved that she was alright. Mom and I decided to stay for a little while to help get grandma and grandpa set up in a living situation that would be healthy for them.
Things were almost settled when I got a call that my husband was in the hospital. We jumped in the car and were on the road again. This time it was get back to California as quickly as possible. My husband wasn't expected to die, but I needed to get back to him just the same. We got home one week ago today, at 2:00 a.m.
My husband was discharged from the hospital on Sunday. The doctor there said to keep the appointment that he already had scheduled with his regular doctor, that there was no need to go in earlier. Thursday our regular doctor got the report from the hospital and his office called wanting to see my husband right away. So my husband makes an appointment to see the doctor on Friday.
As we were getting ready to go to the doctor my mom got a call that her dad is in the hospital. That first phone call said he would be fine and was expected home in a couple of days. That was yesterday. Today the news was that grandpa is in ICU and the doctor says that he'll never go home. So mom is on the road to Colorado again. This time dad went with her, since I have surgery in a week and a half.
I've decided that we really need to find a new reason for jumping in the car and driving over 1500 miles. The reasons we've been using suck. I hate traveling for those reasons.
I wish that I were going too. Please help me pray for my grandpa.
When my mom told her friend "Jane" about our plans, Jane wanted to ride north with us. She has family not too far from where we were going and wanted to go see them. Jane did not ask for a ride, she informed my mother that she'd be coming with us.
As we made our plans we started to have problems. Everything that my mom and I said we were going to do that didn't fit Jane's plans she'd kick up a fuss about. We said that we were planning to drive straight through to our destination with no side trips. This was unacceptable. There were museums along the way that Jane just had to go see. We said that we'd be having lunch at the diner that my sister-in-law works at, since we'd be going by it at about lunch time. This was unacceptable. Jane has a friend an hour north of our planned stop who is a waitress and we needed to eat lunch there so Jane could see her friend. We said that we wanted to do the 9 hour drive in one day. This was unacceptable. Jane wanted to take the trip slower and have one night on the road.
As things went on my mom got more and more stressed about our "fun" vacation. She went back and forth with the idea of just calling off the trip. Mom called Jane to talk about things, but couldn't get her to listen. So mom sent an email that said this is what we're doing and this is when and where we'd like to meet you. (Jane lives about an hour opposite of the direction we were going, so we asked her to meet us at our house and she could leave her car in our driveway. We live in a small town with an extremely low crime rate, so the car would've been safe. She refused.) That was the beginning of the nasty emails. Dealing with Jane was just too much, so mom called off the trip.
I knew that my mom really needed to get away, so I kept getting us ready to go. The day before we were scheduled to go I let my mom know that we were ready and there was no reason that we couldn't go without Jane. The next morning mom decided to go anyway, and sent an email out that said that there was a last minute change in plans and we were leaving after all. (Biggest deciding factor was mom's friend calling and saying that she needed to see my mom.) We loaded up the car and left.
While we were in Oregon mom would check her email regularly, and she found some rather nasty emails from Jane. And then she started getting emails from other friends wanting to know what was going on because Jane had said that mom was mad at them. Mom dealt with this as nicely as possible, but it put a real damper on our vacation.
Just about the time that we were really starting to relax and enjoy ourselves, my mom got a call. My grandma had been admitted to the hospital and was in ICU. As the calls came throughout the afternoon and we got more info we found that grandma wasn't doing well at all. The doctor's didn't expect her to live. Grandma told my cousin that what she really wanted was to see all her kids one last time.
So we throw all our stuff into the car and leave. This was made more difficult because my mom and her friend were having a sewing holiday, so there was a sewing machine and a serger to put in the car, along with fabric, half finished projects, and other various items that she had needed for her sewing. But I get it all in the car and we take off.
We had originally planned to drive home, and leave from there for Colorado, but we were told that if we took that extra day we probably wouldn't get there in time. So an hour down the road we stopped and bought an atlas. We picked our route and we were off. The mantra for that trip was, "I bet this is a really pretty drive in the daylight." (We were driving a car that overheats, so most of our driving was night driving.) Our longest stop was in Lakeview, OR. We had to wait there for four hours until a gas station opened up. The wait would have been better if there had been a vacancy in one of the local motels.
We finally arrived at the hospital, only to have a nurse not want to let us in since grandma had just gotten to sleep. Mom explained that we had just driven 33 hours to see grandma, and we would be really quiet and not wake her. We went and sat in a corner of her room to wait for her to wake. About 15 minutes later the nurse woke grandma because she had visitors. We never could figure that one out.
After being given six pints of blood grandma made an amazing recovery. Taking her off the blood thinners stopped the internal bleeding and grandma got to go home. We were so thankful and relieved that she was alright. Mom and I decided to stay for a little while to help get grandma and grandpa set up in a living situation that would be healthy for them.
Things were almost settled when I got a call that my husband was in the hospital. We jumped in the car and were on the road again. This time it was get back to California as quickly as possible. My husband wasn't expected to die, but I needed to get back to him just the same. We got home one week ago today, at 2:00 a.m.
My husband was discharged from the hospital on Sunday. The doctor there said to keep the appointment that he already had scheduled with his regular doctor, that there was no need to go in earlier. Thursday our regular doctor got the report from the hospital and his office called wanting to see my husband right away. So my husband makes an appointment to see the doctor on Friday.
As we were getting ready to go to the doctor my mom got a call that her dad is in the hospital. That first phone call said he would be fine and was expected home in a couple of days. That was yesterday. Today the news was that grandpa is in ICU and the doctor says that he'll never go home. So mom is on the road to Colorado again. This time dad went with her, since I have surgery in a week and a half.
I've decided that we really need to find a new reason for jumping in the car and driving over 1500 miles. The reasons we've been using suck. I hate traveling for those reasons.
I wish that I were going too. Please help me pray for my grandpa.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Thirty
I'm turning thirty in a couple days. I'm no where near where I thought I'd be by now. Sometimes life sucks.
As I've contemplated my life I've found the truth in some advice given to me. A good friend of mine told me not to get married until I turned 30. She said that women really don't come into their own until around there, and so they shouldn't make major decisions like that until then. She told me that your twenties are for screwing up and discovering yourself. It's not until your thirties that you grow up.
At the time that my friend told me this I smiled, nodded, and thought about what a bunch of baloney it was. I was 26 or 27 and thought that I was fairly grown up, and perfectly capable of making decisions. I guess I was just fooling myself.
I've discovered that my attitude is changing. I don't want to take care of everybody under the sun. I want the people in my life to act like the adults that they're supposed to be and care for themselves. I'm not talking about if you've got the flu, you're on your own. I'm talking about day to day life.
If I dropped off the face of the earth, how would you function? Who would run and fetch for you? Make your calls? Prepare your food? Renew your insurance? Do your shopping? Whoever it is, they can do it now. I just want to only be responsible for myself. I don't have kids, so why am I caring for somebody as if I were their mother? I'm done, I quit.
And this is why I should have waited to marry. It would have changed what I was looking for in a husband, and so it would have changed our marriage. If we weren't married then it would be easier to change the rules of the relationship. So if you're not yet thirty, don't marry yet, there's still time. And if you're not yet thirty and you're already married, then I hope that you two are like my parents and so happy with your choice that you're able to weather life's problems together.
As I've contemplated my life I've found the truth in some advice given to me. A good friend of mine told me not to get married until I turned 30. She said that women really don't come into their own until around there, and so they shouldn't make major decisions like that until then. She told me that your twenties are for screwing up and discovering yourself. It's not until your thirties that you grow up.
At the time that my friend told me this I smiled, nodded, and thought about what a bunch of baloney it was. I was 26 or 27 and thought that I was fairly grown up, and perfectly capable of making decisions. I guess I was just fooling myself.
I've discovered that my attitude is changing. I don't want to take care of everybody under the sun. I want the people in my life to act like the adults that they're supposed to be and care for themselves. I'm not talking about if you've got the flu, you're on your own. I'm talking about day to day life.
If I dropped off the face of the earth, how would you function? Who would run and fetch for you? Make your calls? Prepare your food? Renew your insurance? Do your shopping? Whoever it is, they can do it now. I just want to only be responsible for myself. I don't have kids, so why am I caring for somebody as if I were their mother? I'm done, I quit.
And this is why I should have waited to marry. It would have changed what I was looking for in a husband, and so it would have changed our marriage. If we weren't married then it would be easier to change the rules of the relationship. So if you're not yet thirty, don't marry yet, there's still time. And if you're not yet thirty and you're already married, then I hope that you two are like my parents and so happy with your choice that you're able to weather life's problems together.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Phones
There is a lady in my parents church who is addicted to the phone. She's been known to call us 8 - 10 times a day. And she calls for no reason. A typical call with her lasts approximately 15 seconds. Just long enough to say hello, ascertain that there's no reason for the call, and say goodbye. This gets really annoying really fast. We finally had to ask her not to call.
She called this morning. She wanted El Slurpo's phone number. I really don't like him, so I gave her his number. I'm wondering how many times she'll call him before he tells her not to call. I'm also wondering how long it'll be before I get fussed at for giving her his number. It is worth it though.
She called this morning. She wanted El Slurpo's phone number. I really don't like him, so I gave her his number. I'm wondering how many times she'll call him before he tells her not to call. I'm also wondering how long it'll be before I get fussed at for giving her his number. It is worth it though.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Handle Your Scandal
This was the topic of a post on a forum that I belong to and it got me to thinking. I have quite a few people in my life who I wish that I could say this to.
For the person who wants to tell me all about her open marriage, I don't want details! I really don't need to know the list of who you're sleeping with. And I definitely don't need to hear about how many are in the bed at once. If you're happy with your lifestyle, then I'm happy for you, but please, deal with it on your own.
For the person who "needs a sounding board," I don't want to hear it! I realize that you think it's shocking when you tell me about somebody's open marriage and their behavior since that decision was made, but I already know. And here's the real kicker, I don't want to know! And I know that you think I need to know all about your suspicions of drug use, but really, I don't. And I know that you're fascinated by all the drama in everybody else's life, but that you're fascination, please leave me out of it.
And for the one who calls when you need money, I'm not a bank. When you point out that your household is bringing in at least ten times what I do, please don't call me to ask for a loan. (They're not extremely well off, I have an extremely low income.) If I had extra money don't you think I would have a better living situation? If I can make it work, then so can you. Don't buy that new car, or that $200 toy for your 4 year old daughter and then ask me for a loan. It ain't happening!
And for the teenage girl complaining about how guys look at you, stop putting yourself on display! If you look like you're advertising your wares then don't be surprised when that's how you're treated! Cover yourself up and maybe those guys would notice the color of your eyes.
I'm not perfect by any means and I don't want to come off as trying to say I am. If at any time you feel the need, then please feel free to tell me to handle my scandal.
For the person who wants to tell me all about her open marriage, I don't want details! I really don't need to know the list of who you're sleeping with. And I definitely don't need to hear about how many are in the bed at once. If you're happy with your lifestyle, then I'm happy for you, but please, deal with it on your own.
For the person who "needs a sounding board," I don't want to hear it! I realize that you think it's shocking when you tell me about somebody's open marriage and their behavior since that decision was made, but I already know. And here's the real kicker, I don't want to know! And I know that you think I need to know all about your suspicions of drug use, but really, I don't. And I know that you're fascinated by all the drama in everybody else's life, but that you're fascination, please leave me out of it.
And for the one who calls when you need money, I'm not a bank. When you point out that your household is bringing in at least ten times what I do, please don't call me to ask for a loan. (They're not extremely well off, I have an extremely low income.) If I had extra money don't you think I would have a better living situation? If I can make it work, then so can you. Don't buy that new car, or that $200 toy for your 4 year old daughter and then ask me for a loan. It ain't happening!
And for the teenage girl complaining about how guys look at you, stop putting yourself on display! If you look like you're advertising your wares then don't be surprised when that's how you're treated! Cover yourself up and maybe those guys would notice the color of your eyes.
I'm not perfect by any means and I don't want to come off as trying to say I am. If at any time you feel the need, then please feel free to tell me to handle my scandal.
Time
As I was driving to the doctor today I started thinking about time management. Every day I have a list of things that I need to do, and I try to schedule my time so that they all get done. Sometimes this approach doesn't work. Most of the time I end up pissing my husband off.
If I know how long a certain activity will take then I have no problems deciding to start it in three hours. in the meantime I may choose to do something that's purely for recreation or relaxation. This doesn't mean that I've forgotten what I need to do, just that, for reasons that might only be known to me, I'm putting it off.
The biggest reason that this approach will fail is unexpected requests. I almost had this happen today. I had a doctor's appointment at 2:00, that meant that I needed to leave the house by 1:00. At 12:45 I was just finishing dinner and still needed to change my shirt, put myself together, and get out the door. That's when my mom decided to let me know that she needed me to fix her some lunch. I had 15 minutes worth of stuff to do, and now I needed to add in something that could take a while. Fortunately she realized my time constraints and asked for a PBJ. I managed to get out of here on time, but barely.
I think that I'm more likely to get frustrated by that kind of thing because of my husband. He used to wait until 10 minutes before I needed to leave for work to let me know that he needed me to take him to the store before I left for the day. It took a little while, but I convinced him that it was in his best interest to let me know the night before that he needed something so that I could add it to my schedule for a time that was convenient for me.
He still gets upset with me if I don't do things on his schedule, and I still let him know what he can do with his schedule, but I don't get as upset about it now. And so we've both learned that one person's time management can sometimes be a family project.
If I know how long a certain activity will take then I have no problems deciding to start it in three hours. in the meantime I may choose to do something that's purely for recreation or relaxation. This doesn't mean that I've forgotten what I need to do, just that, for reasons that might only be known to me, I'm putting it off.
The biggest reason that this approach will fail is unexpected requests. I almost had this happen today. I had a doctor's appointment at 2:00, that meant that I needed to leave the house by 1:00. At 12:45 I was just finishing dinner and still needed to change my shirt, put myself together, and get out the door. That's when my mom decided to let me know that she needed me to fix her some lunch. I had 15 minutes worth of stuff to do, and now I needed to add in something that could take a while. Fortunately she realized my time constraints and asked for a PBJ. I managed to get out of here on time, but barely.
I think that I'm more likely to get frustrated by that kind of thing because of my husband. He used to wait until 10 minutes before I needed to leave for work to let me know that he needed me to take him to the store before I left for the day. It took a little while, but I convinced him that it was in his best interest to let me know the night before that he needed something so that I could add it to my schedule for a time that was convenient for me.
He still gets upset with me if I don't do things on his schedule, and I still let him know what he can do with his schedule, but I don't get as upset about it now. And so we've both learned that one person's time management can sometimes be a family project.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Strays
I was talking with my great-aunt today and realized something. My family collects strays. For some families that would mean stray dogs, others it would be cats, with my family it's people.
When I was elementary school age we would visit my grandparents during the summer. (They lived in California, we were in Alaska.) Visiting them was especially wonderful because of how many people lived there.
My grandparents had a three bedroom house with a mother-in-law cottage on the property. Grandma and Grandpa had one room. Uncle Kenny, Aunt Irene, and their three boys had another room. Uncle Doug, Aunt Dana, and their two boys had the third bedroom. In the mother-in-law cottage was Uncle Victor, Aunt Carol, and their son and daughter.
During the day my Aunt Carol would babysit my Aunt Sharon's two boys. When you include my sister and I the child count was eleven. And then the neighbor kids that we were friends with would come over. Quite often the child count was over twenty, and we were all treated the same way, no matter who we belonged to.
During the day we would run in and out of the house, watching cartoons, getting a snack, going potty, whatever. And our friends would run in and out of the house with as much freedom as we did. I swear my grandparents needed a revolving door.
One day one of the kids that wasn't related to us fell down and got hurt. He was crying pretty hard so the adults thought that one of them should take him home and explain what happened to his parents. The only problem was that the little boy was crying too hard to say where he lived. The adults figured that they would find out who he was friends with and get them to point the way to his house. That's when we discovered that nobody knew him.
Apparently he had seen a large group of kids and figured it would be fun to join them. He had been hanging out at my grandparents house for a couple of weeks before it was discovered that we didn't know him.
That event almost seems normal to me. I grew up used to the idea that everybody is to be made welcome with the same warmth that you would welcome family. This includes the family members that you don't necessarily care for. That kind of attitude can lead to a collection of strays.
When I was little my parents were foster parents for a while. Now don't get me wrong, I don't consider my foster siblings to be strays, I just think that having them around got me adjusted to the idea of opening your house and your heart to strangers. I still miss and wonder about some of them, even if they were so young that they would have no memory of me.
As a teenager it was my friends who became the adopted strays. My family has always been very involved with each other and this drew my friends in. It was a novel idea to them that a family would sit down to dinner together, turn everything off, and talk about what's going on in their lives. We'd been doing this as long as I can remember and so I found their responses to be interesting.
When my sister's best friend didn't want to move to another state with her family my parents let her move in with us. (With her parents permission of course.) When some friends of mine were having problems at home they were welcome to use our house as a home away from home. I had friends who continued to come and visit my family even after I moved away.
Now as an adult I see my parents and my grandma take in whomever they find that needs a place to stay for a little while. They are careful about their own safety (strangers can't move in), but they can't keep a guest room empty for long. They collect stray people.
And there's one more reason that I feel blessed to have the family that I have.
When I was elementary school age we would visit my grandparents during the summer. (They lived in California, we were in Alaska.) Visiting them was especially wonderful because of how many people lived there.
My grandparents had a three bedroom house with a mother-in-law cottage on the property. Grandma and Grandpa had one room. Uncle Kenny, Aunt Irene, and their three boys had another room. Uncle Doug, Aunt Dana, and their two boys had the third bedroom. In the mother-in-law cottage was Uncle Victor, Aunt Carol, and their son and daughter.
During the day my Aunt Carol would babysit my Aunt Sharon's two boys. When you include my sister and I the child count was eleven. And then the neighbor kids that we were friends with would come over. Quite often the child count was over twenty, and we were all treated the same way, no matter who we belonged to.
During the day we would run in and out of the house, watching cartoons, getting a snack, going potty, whatever. And our friends would run in and out of the house with as much freedom as we did. I swear my grandparents needed a revolving door.
One day one of the kids that wasn't related to us fell down and got hurt. He was crying pretty hard so the adults thought that one of them should take him home and explain what happened to his parents. The only problem was that the little boy was crying too hard to say where he lived. The adults figured that they would find out who he was friends with and get them to point the way to his house. That's when we discovered that nobody knew him.
Apparently he had seen a large group of kids and figured it would be fun to join them. He had been hanging out at my grandparents house for a couple of weeks before it was discovered that we didn't know him.
That event almost seems normal to me. I grew up used to the idea that everybody is to be made welcome with the same warmth that you would welcome family. This includes the family members that you don't necessarily care for. That kind of attitude can lead to a collection of strays.
When I was little my parents were foster parents for a while. Now don't get me wrong, I don't consider my foster siblings to be strays, I just think that having them around got me adjusted to the idea of opening your house and your heart to strangers. I still miss and wonder about some of them, even if they were so young that they would have no memory of me.
As a teenager it was my friends who became the adopted strays. My family has always been very involved with each other and this drew my friends in. It was a novel idea to them that a family would sit down to dinner together, turn everything off, and talk about what's going on in their lives. We'd been doing this as long as I can remember and so I found their responses to be interesting.
When my sister's best friend didn't want to move to another state with her family my parents let her move in with us. (With her parents permission of course.) When some friends of mine were having problems at home they were welcome to use our house as a home away from home. I had friends who continued to come and visit my family even after I moved away.
Now as an adult I see my parents and my grandma take in whomever they find that needs a place to stay for a little while. They are careful about their own safety (strangers can't move in), but they can't keep a guest room empty for long. They collect stray people.
And there's one more reason that I feel blessed to have the family that I have.
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