El Slurpo

Grandma's friend is here for his daily visit. He gets to everybody in the house. When he shows up everybody finds somewhere else that they desperately need to be.

My grandma has to use a walker to get around these days. That doesn't stop him from showing up and expecting to be waited on hand and foot. As soon as he comes in she gets up to fix some sort of breakfast for him. We've tried to stop this from happening, but nothing works.

He used to stay for three meals a day. That's when I nicknamed him El Slurpo. He's perfected the art of slurping his food. He can even slurp meatloaf. It's absolutely disgusting to eat a meal with him. When you consider that slurping is the most polite thing that he does you can see why he's great to have around if you're going for a starvation diet.

It's been that he'd show up for breakfast and the he and grandma would leave for lunch at the senior meal program. After lunch he would drop her off at home and leave. This was a schedule that we all learned to live with, and was why we put up with him. He was getting grandma out of the house and helping her develop a social life. We all believe that this is a wonderful thing.

Yesterday El Slurpo announced that he'd no longer be taking grandma to the senior lunch. Last week or the week before she passed out while at the lunch and so now he's decided that she shouldn't be going. She's getting medical treatment for what happened at the lunch, and the doctor's say that it would've happened no matter where she was. But he insists that it's too much for her so he won't take her. We all think it's great for her and are going to take her there as often as our schedules permit.

It's amazing how sitting down and being served a healthy lunch is bad for grandma, but waiting on El Slurpo isn't. He takes advantage of her so bad and she just allows it to happen. He refuses to get up and do anything for himself. He's more mobile than grandma, but will expect her to get up and hand him stuff that he's laid down and wandered away from.

Okay, I'll quit ranting about this guy for now, but later I've gotta write about his living situation.